By Katie Parsons
Family Life in Lockdown
The snow came just in time. Having felt for several weeks that lockdown life was fine, if not exciting, this weekend boredom finally hit hard. We nosedived. Sledging and having some real snow to play in was just what we needed - to do something different after what I calculate to be about 25 weeks of lockdown. Two years ago the thought of being required by law to stay at home with our families for months would have seemed like the plot of teen dystopian fiction. It’s pretty real now, third time around…
I asked friends with all different family situations how lockdown has been and it has been a joy to hear back from them. Below is a general summary of all of our experiences and some timeless wisdom from God’s word about how to make the best of family life as lockdown continues.
Celebrating the Good
Walks: Who knew we would all enjoy walking so much?! Getting some fresh air, discovering new local places and experiencing a full range of weather outdoors.
Spending more time together: family life usually involves rushing in and out to get everyone where they need to be when. Over the last twelve months, playing games, watching films and getting to know each other more has been a result of not having much else to do. This becomes more special when you realise that your children won’t be little for much longer, or even still living at home for many more years.
Slowing down: Am I the only one who doesn’t want life to be exactly like it was before, being busy all the time?
Appreciating the small things: Some adult company in the form of a FaceTime or walk with a friend is such a treat. Memories of a summer holiday we were able to have give us a warm glow still. Seeing family & Church family on Zoom may not be as good as the real thing but it’s better than not seeing them at all. The last twelve months have made us appreciate so many things we used to take for granted.
Enduring the Bad
Home Schooling young children: This has definitely been a recurring theme in what people have found challenging. It is something that needs its very own blog post…
A third lock down, during winter: It’s a lot harder than the first time back in March when the weather was lovely and we all felt it was a one off that would solve the problem.
Different family situations have different challenges: Seeing older parents deteriorate through being isolated; feeling starved of adult company; the constant noise/ mess/ demand for food or even the word MUM! endlessly repeated throughout the day. Worrying about how children are feeling - especially teenagers.
Realising our own failings: The lockdown gets to us all and at different points we’ve all probably lost it and shouted at each other – and then felt bad about it afterwards.
Make the Main Thing the Main Thing
Instead of feeling crushed by not meeting our own expectations, maybe lockdown is a good time to decide what the important things are in family life, and aim for those.
The Bible says that God has given us our children as a gift. As a Christian, my first priority as a parent is to remind my children that they have a Heavenly Father who loves them & a Saviour who has died for all their sin. We can remember this for ourselves when we feel like we’ve blown it again.
If our children know that we love them, that we’re doing our best to look after them even though we don’t always get it right, and we try to keep their bellies full (sometimes impossible!) then those are the main things in place.
Why is it so Hard?
The Bible reminds us that we are all sinners ‘There is no one who is righteous – not even one.’ Romans 3:10.
This explains why, despite our best intentions we lose it and say awful things, our toddlers have tantrums, stubborn ‘pupils’ refuse to co-operate, teenagers do all of the above, Dads are impatient and Mums are cranky. We are 2/3/4/5 or more sinners all trying to share a house together, all the time!
God sent Jesus into the world to rescue it because he knows that we are all of those things and worse, and we are unable to fix ourselves. There will be disappointments in family life - during lockdown, and when this is all just a memory, because human beings are flawed.
An Opportunity to Grow:
We can learn to say ‘I’m sorry’ more frequently: Family life in lockdown presents many opportunities for this!
We can learn to pray: for ourselves, for our children, and for a way forward beyond the pandemic
We can realise that we are not in control of the present or the future: this may seem like a scary realisation, but when we reach the end of our resources, ask God for his help. That is better & safer by far than before all this when we thought we were in control.
Final Thoughts
Some highlights during lockdown have been surprises & events which have broken up the monotony. If you have any energy left to be creative, then a night time glow stick disco, a trip to the beach (when it’s legal!), or a black tie dinner can make memories that will stay with your children. And let’s be grateful that the winter of ’21 brought snow!
This pandemic will not go on forever, although right now it may seem endless. When one of my son’s was feeling disgruntled on a Sunday evening I reminded him that he was living through history. He didn’t seem to find my words very powerful, but I think about it sometimes and that thought makes the monotony seem a little bit more exciting. And who knows, maybe when we’re busy with different family commitments when normal life resumes, we will look back and miss some things about family life in lockdown.
